Against Polylingualism
Ever known a really really smart person who—wait a minute, when I say really really smart I don’t necessarily mean school-smart, or the sort of person who likes to tell you what a high IQ he or she has, or somebody who made junior-year Phi Beta Kappa, or somebody who’s fond of quoting indecipherable French structuralists; I mean a highly capable, resourceful and creative person, not a crazy and not an idler, someone who actually does things, makes things (paints pictures, builds bridges, climbs rocks) and whose intelligence is as sudden and striking as a sunrise—have you ever known anyone, I say, who was bright as this and who was also fluent in many languages? Even several languages?
Have you?
Well maybe you have, but I haven’t. In fact, I am going to lay it down as an article of belief that linguistic fluency is the hallmark of the weak character and mediocre mind. I say this as a brilliant steadfast person (striking as a sunrise), who has never been able to do much more than order a drink in any tongue other than my own; and who has noted a distinct lack of polylingualism among my intellectual and creative peers.
My CV says I can also speak French and German, but that’s just for show. I really I ought to take that line out. I probably put it in because I saw it on some professor’s CV years ago (ho, that’s the ticket! emulate a fucking schoolteacher!).
I’ve certainly never gotten a job on the strength of this résumé. Either my potential interviewers are on to me (“Hardly seems possible to be as bright as she is and still be able to speak more than one language”) or else they swallow the line completely, and their native horse-sense tells them that anyone who speaks three or more languages must be a shallow dope.
I have a Euro-Chinese acquaintance (male) who grew up in Los Angeles and Paris and now works for a major international bank. He married a Caucasian girl from Buenos Aires, and they now live in central London with their longheaded, slant-eyed, slightly overweight two-year-old girl.
This brat is a piece of work: ill-tempered, undisciplined and uncontrollable. I would feel great pity for the parents, were I not too busy smacking my lips and rubbing my hands with glee. You see, the parents don’t care if little Zelda screams and shouts incessantly, or breaks every lamp and vase in the house. All they care about is that Zelda grow up polylingual.
They coo gently at her, in French and Spanish and English and Dutch and a bit of Mandarin, while she hurls ginger jars against the fireplace and sets fire to the cat’s tail. Such exposure to languages, they feel, will give little Zelda an enormous advantage in life.
I wonder what advantage they are thinking of. Surely they are not expecting this flash-card technique to give their mad, twisted little mongrel a rich and nuanced appreciation of Racine, Shakespeare and Borges, or to add to the cultural patrimony of the West.
No, Zelda’s parents think that knowing a lot of languages will help one somehow get on in life: that is, she’ll be able to buy and sell among a dazzling variety of the world’s people’s.
Perhaps she might even get a posh job with International Megabank, like her father: traveling around the world once a month, checking her Blackberry every four minutes, staying awake for 2 am phonecalls to Melbourne…but mainly, putting her superficial knowledge to good use as she attends meetings and conferences and pretends to digest eye-glazing investment analyses written in any of five different tongues.
This ambition, I expect, would represent the summit of human endeavor to a hard-bitten Singaporean Chinese, or a Levantine trader out of the Arabian Nights. Or any other uprooted, historyless, cultureless people who live in an eternal present, hoping only to enjoy as much comfort and animal pleasure as they can in their wretched existences.
August 15th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
fake rolex watches
used rolex watches diamond rolex watches fake rolex watches replica rolex watches
August 15th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
cialis
buy cialis generic cialis. cheapest cialis.cialis forum
August 16th, 2006 at 2:03 am
generic viagra
cheap generic viagra substitutes generic viagra online generic viagra soft tabs
August 16th, 2006 at 5:39 am
generic meridia
order meridia does meridia work meridia drug side effects of meridia
meridia success stories meridia coupons coupon discount meridia
August 16th, 2006 at 7:38 am
ambien
ambien online ambien overdose buy ambien online
August 16th, 2006 at 9:32 am
ultram
ultram side effects ultram addiction buy ultram
August 16th, 2006 at 10:53 am
texasholdem
free texasholdem games
August 17th, 2006 at 9:17 am
buy generic viagra online
discount generic viagra viagra generic cialis generic viagra buy generic vaigra online
August 18th, 2006 at 3:26 am
teen blowjob
teen blowjob blowjob clips teen blowjobs blowjob movie
August 18th, 2006 at 8:18 am
cialis online
cialis online buy cialis online no prescription cialis
August 18th, 2006 at 10:11 am
buy generic cialis
generic cialis forum cialis drug cheap generic. cialis order cialis generic buy cialis online no prescription generic cialis
August 18th, 2006 at 12:09 pm
no prescription phentermine
buy phentermine without a prescription. buy phentermine without prescription buy phentermine no prescription. non prescription phentermine
August 21st, 2006 at 10:11 am
generic viagra online
cheap generic viagra buy generic viagra.generic viagra online
August 23rd, 2006 at 8:11 pm
phenermine discuss
We are your best source for all phenermine related information, reviews, discussions, opinions and more.
August 28th, 2006 at 4:06 am
buy hydrocodone online buy hydrocodone online
September 5th, 2006 at 5:20 am
order viagra online
viagra online. buy online viagra. order viagra online
September 5th, 2006 at 10:20 am
rolex watch
rolex watch. used rolex watches fake rolex watches
September 7th, 2006 at 8:12 am
texasholdem
Free texasholdem games how to play texasholdem
September 8th, 2006 at 7:32 am
Generic Viagra
buy Generic Viagra online Generic Viagra
September 14th, 2006 at 7:46 pm
free gay porn
free gay male porn free gay porn videos
September 18th, 2006 at 12:25 pm
cialis
cialis no prescription. cheap cialis online
September 19th, 2006 at 8:49 am
ambien
ambien, buy ambien oline, ambien cr
September 19th, 2006 at 10:05 am
blow jobs
teen blow jobs, blow job movie
September 28th, 2006 at 2:49 am
free full length porn movies
download free porn movies, free full length porn movies
September 29th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
buy generic cialis
buy generic cialis online, cheap generic cialis
September 29th, 2006 at 8:00 pm
cheap viagra
cheap generic viagra buy cheap viagra
September 29th, 2006 at 10:20 pm
cialis
cheap generic cialis buy cheap cialis
October 6th, 2006 at 8:56 am
Phentermine no prescription
Phentermine no prescription, buy phentermine without prescription